Hey everyone! Long time, no blog! But anyone who knows me will have experienced my sporadic tendencies to be creative, which are probably actually directly related to how bored of revision I am... so sorry! Anyway, this is going to be a little ramble about 3 metaphorical nuggets of university (and life and school and the like) wisdom. Disclaimer: I am in no way wise.
- Don’t get psyched out by others, or, more importantly, the voice in the back of your head! Comparison really is the thief of all joy. As is an overly active subconscious… So realise that as all your past achievements have been personal ones, independent of others’ successes (ok except that one module your very helpful friend helped you ace) why is there a reason to pit yourself up against anyone else for future endeavours? Only you are in charge of your own happiness, and your path in life!! I wonder how much time we all waste thinking about people, things, potential scenarios and mistakes that never actually matter. It’s probably ridiculous. At uni, especially somewhere very competitive like Oxford, it’s almost impossible to not look at what everyone else is doing with their lives. But I’ve realised that the more time you spend looking at how inferior you feel your life or worth is compared to other people’s, the more you start to believe it. Whatever you give your brain time and fuel to think about will end up taking over. It’s such a simple concept but I think it could be the key to everyone being a lot happier in life! Wasting time thinking about why you might not be as good as someone else or regretting that unproductive vacation or that Easter egg you ate all in one go isn’t going to change the past, it will literally only make you feel worse. No good can ever come from dwelling on bad events in the past or negative comparisons. So block out that silly voice in the back of your head that’s making you feel guilty and just move on! Take action to make this happen if needed - stop spending time with people who might make you feel less worthy, stop reading things that make you feel unnecessarily upset. It’s not worth your valuable time bringing yourself down (that sounds silly to even write!) - you’ve got friends to make, clubs to join, essays to nail, and better decisions to make!
- Pace yourself!! It’s so tempting to go out there and try to do and be absolutely everything, all at once. This could apply to work, social situations, new hobbies or relationships. Apply this to uni, and you will end up fairly broke, exhausted, hungover, regretful, and with a general sense of “urgh” if you approach it like a high speed train!! I know I mentioned this in my Fresher’s Guide post, but think that this long-term perspective is so worth keeping in mind for all areas of life. Especially the academic. And it’s something I’m still learning! Planning is key to avoiding a last-minute panic of revision cramming, knocking out an essay whilst only half-aware of where you are and what your title is.. yep, I’ve been there, as many of us have, and it’s not pretty. Planning is actually ridiculously hard, (at least I’ve found), but a couple of basics from one of the least organised people ever: just know what tasks you have due in and when (write these down somewhere other than the back of your hand), roughly how long they’ll take, what books or resources you’ll need, and a space of time other than *the night before* in which to complete it. That’s it!! That’s literally how you plan*. Now keep applying this logic to other parts of your life - want to become great at fitness? Don’t join 5 clubs at once and ditch all forms of sugar on a whim. Start gradual! This could even work for personal changes - loads of people want to reinvent themselves at uni (lolz anyone who knows me will know that I am pretty easy to read most of the time and can’t deal with this reinvention lark). But you could start, for example, with a little change every day. Want to be more productive? Set your alarm for gradually earlier times until you keep it consistent! Don’t burn yourself out though, ever. It’s way more important to have a good quality of life, get enough sleep, and have regular meals, whilst falling behind on a couple of deadlines perhaps, and maybe not going on that night out / run / society event that you were sort of looking forward to. If you keep in touch with your tutors and let them know if it’s all a bit too much, chances are, they’re a human with a busy life themselves who will more than likely understand and offer you some sympathy and a few days’ extension, to get back on your feet. Friends will be equally understanding if you can’t spend as much time with them, or need more “me time”. Nobody expects you to be superhuman! So you shouldn’t expect it of yourself, either.
- Be a bit braver than you’d like to be. Go with your gut, and trust your instincts here. If you’re sitting in a tutorial with a potentially interesting point to raise, just go for it. You are paying for an education, so use every opportunity you can get to clarify things, or expand on your own brilliance! Most importantly, far fewer people will judge you for raising your hand in a lecture to ask a question than you think, and those that do really aren’t worth your time. This goes for friendships and social stuff too. If someone sitting at lunch looks friendly, just go and chat to them! If there’s an audition you thought looked interesting but you don’t feel prepared enough to take the plunge, just drop an email anyway and turn up with a half-learned monologue which you can read. Literally nothing bad will come of it! I’ve been there - the worst that can happen is you might get a bit shaky, end up not getting the part, and move on with life. It is all a learning experience! I recently felt like wearing dungarees (side note: I’m rarely this adventurous with fashion..) so I just went for it, knowing that I might regret it or feel a bit silly later that day! This is turning into a load of cliches (in all honesty, what else would you expect from me at 2am during a revision crisis?!) but it’s true that you end up regretting the stuff you never tried rather than the stuff you did try and failed. In time, those failures really won’t matter that much. But the niggling sense of regret would have been so much worse! I recently watched a cool TedTalk video on “How to stop screwing yourself over” in which the speaker said that everything you have to do to achieve your goals requires a bit of activation energy that you’ll never really feel like doing. You’ll never want to try out something new, and get out of a routine (for me that routine is sleep for 12 hours, watch Netflix, half-heartedly type up a few notes, more Netflix, chocolate, bed…) but how ridiculous would life become if you never branched out of routine?! It’s worth a shot!
I really hope this helps some of you to be a bit more adventurous, self-confident and grounded as we head into this partly stressful and exam orientated, partly more sun, croquet (ridiculous but true Oxford stereotype..) and ice cream filled season that is summer! You're so worth more than to feel inferior to others, regretful of the past and overwhelmed with things you feel you should be doing! Drop me a comment if you liked / disagreed / found any of this vaguely interesting and I will most likely cry inside with joy.
Jenna
P.S. On an utterly random note, if you’re in need of cheering up, I’ve recently become obsessed with Carpool Karaoke and the hilarious James Corden in general.. type in “Adele Carpool Karaoke” on YouTube for some laughs, drunken stories, fab harmonies and cheesy Spice Girls singing, I promise you won’t regret it :)
*definition of plan is 99.999% likely to be more complex than this and my knowledge of planning fits on the back of a postage stamp. Which is probably where I’d write this knowledge seeing as I’m not organised enough to have a “jotter”.
