You only have to look at where you were five years ago to realise that characters, places and priorities are changing at dizzying rates. And sometimes it can feel a bit like you're losing your grip on it all, as if you're sliding down a hill with your fingers gripping the land in front of you, trying to keep a hold on the past. But it's important to understand that the cycle of all things involves decay, endings and new beginnings, which inevitably cause hurt, but this is all aided by the healing power of time.
I was recently chatting to a friend of mine about the amount we've developed and altered over the years, which led me to a moment of complete panic. Do we ever really know anyone? Just because our paths once collided, and we walked together for some of the journey, sharing our experiences with each other, that doesn't mean they'll follow you for eternity. The concept of 'drifting' friendships, that is, when the two paths diverge, I guess, quite frankly terrifies me. I've been a hoarder of material possessions since a young age (much to my mum's dismay, as the house is descending into clutter and junk!) because I can't bear the thought of losing what may once have been the centre of my universe. Doesn't it terrify you when you can barely remember a name or face that was once the most familiar thing to you? That's change in action, and it's not to say that those memories are gone forever. It just means that every now and again, our mental 'inbox' needs to be sorted out into sections, and while some events end up filed into the back of our minds, others take priority.
Some people naturally embrace changing relationships and circumstances, and while this has never been the case for me, I realise that myself (and fellow change-detesters) will someday have to face up to the fact that you can't cling on forever. Some friendships, career paths and interests just don't suit you anymore, and believe me when I say it does you much more harm than good to keep something close when in your gut, you know that it's not working out. You can descent into a world of self doubt, asking 'is it my fault that this isn't what it used to be?' when most of the time, it's the natural process of 'ebb and flow' to walk away from certain paths and into new opportunities. Most of the time, it's nobody's fault at all. Especially at the point I'm at now, having left school and preparing for a whole new world *sings Aladdin* of university, you can blame yourself for not putting in the extra effort to pull the past towards you again, whilst still running parallel with the present. We are only human! Though the past, present and future versions of yourself may differ, there's no need to try and live all three lives at once for the sake of maintaining an old persona to keep up a relationship. Use your words, as Carrie Hope Fletcher says all too often! If change goes hand in hand with communication, then everyone is completely aware of each other's feelings, similarities and differences.
Change doesn't have to mean running on a completely different track. Perhaps for some it just involves a change of attitude, a new environment, or simply realising that though in the past doughnuts were their snack of choice, cake has overtaken its place. (I hope I'm not the only one experiencing this traumatising tea time dilemma. Maybe this sugary change crisis is too much to bear!)
Most importantly though, even if two people who were once close decide they are different individuals leading different lives, in no way does that signify the end of mutual respect and affection.
Some memories are treasured forever, even if its occupants are distant and may even seem strangers now.
It's time to keep moving forwards, recognising that the future you, though perhaps slightly altered, is still very much you. Allowing yourself to change and go with the tide doesn't have to mean forgetting the past and how much it once meant to you.
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