Sensitivity or "heart on your sleeve"

Nowadays, I guess that sensitivity could be considered as both a blessing and a curse, something which both strengthens and weakens a person's character. According to the dictionary definition, 'sensitivity' means "being readily affected by external influences", having an open, sentimental character, or in a nutshell, 'wearing your heart on your sleeve' (an expression I've never fully understood, by the way. Why a sleeve as opposed to, on your shirt, or in your hand, perhaps?!). And over the years, being open to emotion, external impacts and criticisms, can take its toll on us all. But, as much as life experiences can try to knock down a person's sensitivity, leading them to "put their guard up", over time, I think these setbacks can have quite the opposite effect. 

I don't believe having a sensitive nature makes a person weaker, though don't get me wrong, it's vital to maintain a degree of assertiveness to prevent yourself from becoming a 'doormat', or allowing others to take advantage of your kindness. But I feel a certain level of empathy and openness is the most important quality for self development.

To an extent, I would argue that you can't change your personality; some features, such as absent-mindedness, sensitivity, a good sense of humour (or in my case, the lack thereof..) are just innate. That said, it's not entirely true that 'a leopard never changes its spots' - and this is why people can continue to surprise you, or some people may build up a resistance to sensitivity, for example, due to life experiences. Someone you've known for years, whose life is so intertwined with yours, who you feel you know better than anyone else, may be influenced by external circumstances, or undergo a natural process of change, and this can even lead to "heartache" when paths go their separate ways.

The question that springs to mind is whether it's better to have loved and lost or never loved at all. I'm no expert on the human heart, but I feel like the vast majority would opt for the former in a heartbeat *pardon the pun*. And I feel like this is what makes us human. We all understand on a deep level how painful it is to lose a relationship or be betrayed by someone we care about. Yet we let ourselves be exposed to it, time and time again, because, and this is the best part, we still maintain hope that people can change, life can present amazing opportunities, and the person standing just around the corner of the metaphorical road of your life could be the one to makes it all worthwhile. At least, that's how I try to keep faith. Part of the joy in life is expecting the unexpected; granted, it's the root of most worries we experience, due to feeling a loss of control (thanks to my psychology A Level friends for this nugget of wisdom!!), but it's also the most exciting bit by far.

So back to wearing our hearts on our sleeves; I've established that this is a common trait, and discussed why we might cling onto that hope, but in contrast, many decide to put up defence mechanisms to prevent their nearest and dearest from coming too close. This could very possibly stem from protecting them from any hurt they might be experiencing, which we can all relate to. And everyone chooses to open up as much as they would like to, which is only fair: nobody is entitled to share more than they are comfortable to, which is a fundamental human right. But what if bottling up this emotion does more harm than good? After all, it seems only natural instinct to complain. Take a look at @VeryBritishProblems for some examples, proving that some of us tend to enjoy the feeling of release that comes from complaining about the weather, the length of shopping queues and social awkwardness.. I know this all seems rather tiny in perspective to "wearing your heart on your sleeve", but please hear me out. Ideas of cathartic release all link back to the same emotion of opening up and allowing yourself to be affected by others.

I initially used the phrase 'blessing or curse', rather hesitantly, to describe the idea of wearing your heart on your sleeve. But it's crucial to bear in mind that God makes no mistakes. Though the feeling of loss and disappointment is at times unbearable, as I'm aware, putting this into perspective with my faith makes me realise that, to quote the brilliant Ed Sheeran, 'maybe it's all part of the plan'. 

It's not a curse at all! There is no feeling so powerful or warm as love when it's at its purest, and in that moment, the future pain you may experience due to that particular relationship or event becomes insignificant. And, in time, wounds heal, your courage builds, and you find yourself able to brush yourself off and continue down the path towards that game-changer, who God may have placed for you just across the street. 

Keep going, everyone, the best is yet to come.

:)